Posts Tagged brother

Not Feeling My Best

Posted by Jen in Anxiety & Me, Friends & Family, Health Nuts |

Hmmm.  It’s been a strange day.  I had such a terrible time sleeping last night.  I think I went to bed at 11, finally fell asleep at 3 (frustrating!), woke up around 4-ish, woke up around 5-ish and then woke up to get Meghan to school at 6.  So, I started the morning off tired, obviously.

That was fine.  I’ve been tired before.  Meggie wasn’t feeling well, though – she’s been having such severe stomach pains for the past few months.  They’ve been intermittent, but chronic.  We are still in the process of trying to determine what it is, but my initial guess is IBS.  So, I ended up driving her to school.  An hour later I came home and decided to get as much work done as I could before I eventually crashed.

At 10:30AM or so, I had reached the point where I could barely keep my eyes open.  So, I decided to try a little cat nap.  Well, as I went to lie down I realized I was feeling dizzy.  Not only that, but my hands were shaking…really really shaking.  My heart was racing a bit and I just felt ODD.  My first thought, of course, was that this was a panic attack.   (For those who have known me, I have had some rather epic battles with this anxiety disorder of mine.  I have baffled many doctors with the severity and rareness of my symptoms, but those symptoms have been pretty darned silent for the past few months.)

The second possibility for my sudden symptoms was a drop in blood sugar.  Mild anxiety and low blood sugar feel very similar.  I’m not diabetic or anything, but my body is very sensitive to sugar levels and sugar crashes.  I purposely eat a low-glycemic diet for that reason, but it’s always possible that the sugar levels can go a little wonky from time to time, I’m sure.

So, I grabbed a bunch of grapes, drank a little bit of juice, and waited 10 minutes.  Wow.  It was bad.  My face was going numb, everything was cold…yes, this was beginning to feel more like anxiety.  So, I took a Xanax.  I am a pill-phobic, so taking a Xanax is always my last resort.  That completely knocked me out, of course, but…I don’t know.  The symptoms have subsided, yet I am sitting here now at 5PM and I feel weak, a little trembly, a little dizzy…something’s off.  I will be devastated if I am going to have to take up arms against the Panic Monster again.  He’s a tricky little thing.  (LOL – yes, I occasionally imagine my panic disorder as a creature.  He has warts and an evil laugh and likes to find new sneaky ways to scare the living daylights out of me.)

I just came off of another nightmarish battle with my anxiety during the months of March to about July or so.  I know I don’t have any blog posts about that time period, but I do have a bunch of drafts which I really should clean up and finally post.  Before that time, my panic disorder had been dormant for nearly 4 or 5 years, I think.  I ended up contracting mono last February and that just seemed to trigger the panic again.

*sigh*  Well, I am going to take it really easy tonight.  Just camp out in bed with the laptop, watch a little TV and head to bed very very early.  The longer I’m awake, the more my mind will start to run away with worry that these symptoms are a sign of my impending doom.  8-O

On a less medical note, I have been doing a ton of brainstorming lately for a bunch of different web sites I want to build up.  I need to open again and do a major overhaul on the database.  I know a lot more today than I did when I designed it a few years ago, so I hope I might be able to draw a lot more traffic there.  My little brother, Christopher, is on the verge of partnering with his old boss to begin a web parking company and he is one heck of a web designer, so I am going to bounce some ideas off of him and get a little ‘professional’ input.  It makes me a laugh a little bit sometimes…I still see him as my “baby brother” and it’s strange to think of him as a professional!

Let’s add to the stress…shall we?

Posted by Jen in Friends & Family |
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I came home from work today to find that my younger brother, Brian, passed out while entering his college class this morning.  He landed on his face and cracked a tooth and his cheek is all swollen and his lip is all cut up.  The hospital ran a bunch of tests on him and found nothing wrong, but as they were about to release him, he passed out again.  So, he is staying overnight for observation.


Not knowing what is wrong…I hate that.
A lot.

Knowing what is wrong and knowing that it’s something bad, well, I hate that, too.

I love my brother…he’s a really good guy and he is just getting his life started in the right direction.  He is 26 and on his own for the first time, he is finishing college to start a career that he seems to enjoy…I just don’t want to find out that he is sick.

Hugs to Brian.  XOXOXO  Hoping we’ll hear good news tomorrow.

My family

Posted by Jen in Friends & Family, Personally |
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Since I still live at home with dear old mom and dad, I will probably be spending a lot of time talking about my family. So, I thought I’d give a little run-down of exactly my family is and who lives at home with us.

Setting: A large L-shaped ranch in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania.

Characters: Nikolaus (father), Josephine (mother), Jennifer (me…born in 1974), Meghan (my daughter…born in 1994), Brian (my brother…born in 1978), Christopher (my brother…born in 1982), and my grandmother whom I call Oma.

Background: My parents (Nikolaus and Josephine) have been happily married for nearly 30 years and raised their children in a middle to upper-middle class household with traditional, Christian values.

School facts: Christopher is in college at Penn State and Brian is still at home, finishing his business degree at a local university. I am also in college to finish my second degree in legal/psychology studies. I intend to go to graduate school to get my teaching degree and then hopefully find a nice little house for Meghan and myself.

Personal Notes: Good Christian values aside, I am a single mom and have never been married. *shrugs* I tend to do things a little backwards sometimes. I think everyone probably has a few big “oops…did I do that?” moments in their lives. But, I don’t think I ever see Meghan as an “oops”…she is a joy and I am very lucky to be her mom.

Single motherhood is tough…but I’m getting better at it, I think.  I hope! :)

About Me

Posted by Jen in Personally |
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I know I have one of these pages on my other web site, My Sunny Corner, (you can view it here), but just in case you don’t feel like heading over there to read it, I’ll just provide the highlights for you right here.

> I was born on August 18, 1974.
> I have an 12-year old daughter, Meghan.
> I have an Associate’s degree in Legal Studies and I am currently pursuing my B.A. to teach reading or technology in elementary schools.
> I am a Christian.
> I love trivia.
> My parents have been happily married since August 25, 1973.
> I have two younger brothers, Brian (1978) and Christopher (1982).
> I have two pets – a dog, Randy, and a cat, KitKat.

I am thinking about trying one of those 100 Things About Me Lists. I love lists. Okay – that’s all for now.