Jenerally Speaking

I cannot believe how much work I have gotten done in the past few days. I just completed all of my Psychology submissions and I am ready for the final. My History submissions will be done by tomorrow and then I’ll be ready for that final….and then I’ll hopefully complete Theology by next Monday. Yep – I’ll be set for that final, too.
Goodness, if all of this doesn’t set off my anxiety, I don’t know what will.
It’s taken me months to finally get my anxiety symptoms under control. I haven’t experienced any headaches, nausea, dizziness, etc. in at least a week….thank you, God. Prayer…and medication – a delightfully healthy combination.

And, as usual I am zooming in one area and falling behind in others. As I continue to forge ahead in my studies, I have neglected to attend to some other areas of my life. Where is the balance I am always striving to find? How do other people do it, I wonder…
I always think of the analogy of the three-legged stool, where each leg represents a portion of our life…something like family, work, and play. And if one leg is longer or shorter than the other, there is no balance. That is my life. Not the worst thing that could be, I suppose, but it’s a way of life that I do wish I could change, but don’t know how to do it.
Well, it’s 2:30AM here and I tried unsuccessfully to fall asleep about a half an hour ago and found that I can’t get my school work out of my mind. Soooo, here I am adding an entry to my blog and then off to do some more history work.
I’ll work on the whole balance thing when I finish these courses. Cross your fingers and think good thoughts for me…I don’t want to find myself sick again this weekend and unable to finish these courses before the dreaded August 31st deadline.
Okay then – g’night all!

Every time the school is closed on a Monday, it throws my whole week off. Today felt like Sunday to me. I almost forgot to bring Meg to piano lessons tonight because of that…and worse, I almost forgot about watching Joe Millionaire tonight. Yes, the truth is out – I love reality TV. Survivor, The Bachelor…..real-life people in not-so-real situations, I suppose. But, still it’s a hoot to watch.

Well, it’s going to be tough, but I have to take a break from working on my web site this week. I have another mid-term coming up. Distance education is convenient, but a lot tougher than I thought it would be.
Well, while I have you here, I’ll give you a quick history of my college career…including my current college situation.

After I graduated high school in 1992, I went to Kutztown University in Kutztown, PA. It had a large, pretty campus, but was located in the middle of nowhere. My major at that time was Undeclared. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I took some Criminal Justice courses, some education courses and some computer courses, but nothing seemed to click with me.
During my third semester at school, I discovered I was pregnant. It was terrifying and mortifying…my life had taken a surprising turn. Ack!
I left school at the end of that semester in December and I gave birth to Meghan that following June.
I went back to school a few years later. There was a college (The University of Scranton) about 50 minutes from my parents’ home. So, Meg and I lived with them and I commuted to school every day. I was able to schedule my classes pretty close together so that I was only gone about 4 or 5 hours each day. That gave me more than enough time to be home with Meg.

At this point, I finally decided upon a major – Medical Technology. Unfortunately, that only lasted for one semester. It wasn’t quiet what I was looking for. I love learning medical science, but I didn’t quite see myself doing that as a career.

I then switched to Elementary Education, then Secondary Education Science and then Secondary Education English…. then I took a semester off. I was soooo discouraged and I was getting a little worried. At this point I had accumulated a great number of college credits, and excellent college GPA, but I had no degree to show for it.

A semester later, I switched schools to Marywood University in Scranton…still a 50 minute commute for me.

This allowed me to add yet another college mug and T-shirt to my ever-growing collection of college memorabilia.

I finally graduated in the year 2000 with a 2-year degree in legal studies and proceeded to work in a local law office.
Law offices in my home town are small…and the pay is pretty low. When I was offered a full-time position, I realized I had a problem. At $10/hour, with no benefits, I would never be able to save enough to get out of my parents’ home. I couldn’t raise a daughter on that salary.
Soooo, I spent a miserable six months in that law office, afraid of what my future was going to hold for myself and Meghan.
It was my mother who finally sat me down one day and told me that I had to do something…anything…but the first thing I needed to do was to leave my job.
So I did…and I spent that summer soul-searching, praying, looking for signs as to what I should do.
I wish I could say that a voice came down from the heavens and told me where I needed to go. But, that didn’t happen. In fact, I don’t quite know how I finally decided upon this current path, but I do know that it feels right.
I found a school in Maryland (Columbia Union College) that is not only a regular college, but also offers degrees at a distance. When a student completes the coursework, he or she receives a degree as though they physically attended the college. The best part about this school is that they were able to take all of my many credits and left me with only 10 more courses to complete for my 4-year degree.

Right now, the degree I am pursuing is a general degree with a concentration in legal studies and psychology. After I complete this degree, I am off to grad school to go for my teaching certification to teach either reading or to become a technology instructor in the schools.
In the past, I’ve struggled with wanting to teach, but never being able to decide what I wanted to teach. I love to learn, I love to talk, I love to spend time with kids, but I could never see myself in a large crowded classroom as a regular teacher. As a reading instructor or a technology instructor, I can work one-on-one with the students and I can specialize in my area of expertise and share what I learn with each student and individualize what I know to best help each and every student who comes to me. I always felt that I would be lost and frustrated in a regular classroom filled with 30+ kids.
The best part about my life right now is that I
know what I want…I used to envy people who knew what they wanted to do with their lives. I would ask them “How did you decide on this career? How did you know that that is what you wanted to do with the rest of your life?”
Of course, I’m not quite reaching my goal as quickly as I want to, but all good things come to those who wait….and work hard while they’re waiting, I suppose.

So, I’m taking 3 classes right now – History, Theology, and Psychology. My Theology mid-term is the one I have to study for this week. I’m actually kind of excited about it. The course title is Pauline Theology and it covers all of Paul’s letters in the Bible and part of the book of Acts. I’ve learned so much from this class and I only hope that I’ve learned enough to score well on this exam. Some days, I feel like I am too old for all of this. Studying, exam stress, homework, essay questions, etc.
I never thought I’d be 28 and still in school. But, I’m almost there…and I really feel that this where I am supposed to be right now.
As always, I am keeping my ears and eyes open, just in case God wants to lead me somewhere else….but for right now, I am very content and thankful to have a goal and thankful for the ability and strength and endurance to keep working toward that goal.
Well, time for bed – I have a full day of studying tomorrow and am definitely going to need a good night’s rest for that.

I am beginning to think that perhaps I am just a little too old for school. My brain just won’t accept all of the information that I am trying to cram into it. I used to be very good at studying. My college GPA never fell below a 3.9. My high school GPA never fell below a 3.6, but at 28 years old, I think I lost all of those study skills a long time ago.
Okay, well, on a side note, I remembered an old DOS game called Sherlock which I used to play on my old computer. I did a search online for it yesterday and I actually found a copy of it. It has been changed around just a little, but it is as much fun as it was years ago. If you feel like giving your brain a workout, try this game. The link is here: Everett Kaser Software
Okay, well, back to learning all about sensation and perception. If anyone has any questions about the cornea, photoreceptors, etc., I’m the one to ask. (At least until 11 AM tomorrow…that is when my test is done and that is when all of this information is free to leave this poor little JenBrain of mine) Wish me luck!