Jenerally Speaking

I could swear it was the beginning of September just a few days ago.
Did you ever see one of those spiral wishing wells in the mall where you put in a coin and watch it swirl around and around until it falls through the hole in the middle? At the top, the coin’s path is big and slow. As it nears the bottom, it gets shorter and shorter. This is what I think is happening to time, in general. It seriously feels like everything is going by so quickly! Does anyone else feel that way? Is it just because I am an adult? Do kids not feel this, too? Or is it because the world is just set up to deliberate and fast-paced now? The slow pace of the 1980s are no more. Or maybe this is something that can be explained by physics. Is time actually speeding up? Is that possible?

Okay, too many questions. It’s 1AM and my brain doesn’t really feel up to questioning Life, The Universe and Everything at 1AM. So, let’s focus on the mundane before I head to bed.

Mundane musing #1: I am loving the weather these days. Cool and crisp and it smells so clean outside. The leaves are turning red and orange and yellow and I am enjoying every day of autumn so far.  Fall and spring are my favorite seasons.

Mundane musing #2: Okay, so…I watch General Hospital. The soap opera. I seriously didn’t plan on getting attached to this show, but my grandma temporarily came to live with us a few years ago and I joined her when she watched. After she left, I kept watching because those darned storylines just suck you in…and they NEVER END.

GH's Lucky Spencer

Anyway, my favorite character on the show…the one who kept me watching all these years – Lucky Spencer – is being replaced. The current actor (Greg Vaughan – see pic on the left) is being replaced by the one (Jonathan Jackson) who originated the role years ago. This makes me sad. The old Lucky was the teen Lucky. The current Lucky is our grown-up Lucky. It’s embarrassing how this bothers me. I mean seriously. I thought my soap opera/fan girl days ended when I was in college. I guess a little bit of frivolous distraction never really hurt anyone, but…I’m irritated by this casting change and think maybe it’s time to wean myself off of GH.

Mundane musing #3: I am attempting to switch from glasses to contacts. My first trial pair of contacts were scratchy and blurry. My second pair are comfy…and blurry. I am starting to worry that my astigmatism is going to prevent me from actually making the switch to contact lenses. I’ll be really bummed if that happens. As it stands, I usually don’t have to wear my glasses unless I am watching TV, but I have found that everything looks a little sharper and darker when I wear them all the time, so I thought it would be nice to switch to contacts. I go back to the eye doctor on Monday to try another pair. Third time’s a charm…I hope!

Okay, I seriously need to get some sleep. I’m not tired, but I will be hurting tomorrow morning if I don’t head to bed now. G’night all!

Well, I tried my best.  I bought a triple package of Purell and a bunch of those sanitizing sprays.  I washed my hands every day.  I sprayed my hands with a sanitizer after leaving a store.  I made sure Meghan did the same.  But, here we are sniffling and exhausted and headachy and obviously fighting some type of cold.  I live in a house with 3 other people who I know aren’t as diligent as I am about illness prevention and I am sure that has a lot to do with the fact that we are sick.
The question of the day, of course:  “Is it the H1N1 virus (a.k.a swine flu)?”  I don’t think so.  We don’t have it yet, at least.  None of us seem to have a fever, except for Meghan, who is only registering a slight one, at that.  Our throats are only intermittently scratchy and the biggest complaint is really our stuffy noses.  I’m just bummed because I really thought I was going to be one of the few who didn’t get sick at all this season.
So, she was sent home today from the nurse’s office with a slight fever and I’ll have to wait and see what happens tomorrow.  September isn’t even over yet and I think she has been absent 6 days so far.   The first two days were for my grandmother’s funeral, but the rest were from illness.  This is going to be another interesting year.

I think I have reached “college study overload”. Last week, I was zooming….or what I call being “Jenergized”. I had just finished my last midterm…which was terrific – I am positive that I aced that one. Yay me!
Then, I came home and immediately started on my next submission. The next day I jumped right into my history and psychology submissions and I worked around the clock on those….and then the weekend came.
Pffzzt.
That’s the sound of Jen completely running out of steam. I spent today fighting the urge to take a midday nap and instead ended up taking a long bath and then spent the rest of the day downloading a gazillion items for The Sims. On top of that, I threw dietary caution to the wind and picked up a slew of cinnamon puff pastry sticks from Cinnabon and made that my breakfast and lunch and in-between snacks.
But, I have decided that enough is enough…I know me and I know that if I don’t stop, I’ll continue this behavior for the rest of the week. That’s how I seem to live my life, though…I zoom and then slide….zoom and slide. I am constantly fighting to find balance.

So tomorrow….I will work on 3 things. I am actually going to make a list and do only what is on the list. Achievable goals without too much pressure.

1) Finish my Theology lesson and mail it.
2) Put up Meghan’s new blinds for the sliding doors in her bedroom. (They have been sitting in a box in her closet for 2 months now)
3) Set up a healthy eating plan for me and mom.

Why the new eating plan? Well, for the past year I have been gaining and losing the same 5-10 pounds, but right now I am on the upper end of the 10 pounds and I have a feeling that I better start to do something about it or the 10 pounds will very quickly turn into 15 or 20.
And Mom, I know, wants so very badly to lose weight and I think that it might help if we work on this together.
I’ve been doing all the low-carb diets for years now and I’m ready for something else. My calorie intake is about 500 – 700 on my good days (or bad days, if you really want to be picky about it)…and I know that I have to increase that for health’s sake.
I will be the very first to admit that I have a terribly warped view of dieting and the whole body image thing is a problem for me. Two years ago I was about 30 pounds lighter at 100 pounds……and I was sick and dizzy all the time. Common sense tells me that that was toooooo thin for me. Now, I am shooting for a healthier weight….and a healthier eating plan.
So, mom and I are going to try Weight Watchers. It lets you eat what you want, but limits how much you eat.
I love food. Yum. I tend to flip flop my food choices all day. First something sweet…then an hour later I have to have something like a sandwich…then sweet…then salty…then sweet, etc., etc.
There is a new gym about 10 minutes from my house that set up a 30 minute exercise routine which mixes cardio and strength training. For $30/month, I think I might be able to swing that. So…that is the plan. No more cinnamon sticks for a while….until I figure out how many points those things are worth on the Weight Watcher’s plan.
Okay – time to finish up my Sims downloads (…can anyone say ‘addicted to Sims’?) and then head to bed. I think I spend more time downloading new outfits and items for the game than I actually spend playing it. Weird.

Walking pneumonia (

Well, studying is going well….except for the fact that I am getting sick. I’ve been battling head congestion for three months – I kid you not. I can’t remember the last time I was able to breathe clearly through my nose or even taste regular food. It’s might be allergies, but I never had it this bad before.
However, now it appears that the congestion has gone to my chest. I have a pretty icky rattle-cough, which led me to make an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow. It was time for a check-up anyway….I needed refills for my anxiety medicine. Medicine which I am entirely and completely lucky to have. In the five months since I have been put on this medication, I haven’t had a single panic attack. Even though it’s a low dose of anxiety medication, it is working wonders.

If you can believe it, I went through 2 years of a dozen different tests and 3 different doctors until my current (and absolutely wonderful!) doctor finally diagnosed anxiety.
It’s amazing how this disorder can masquerade as many different conditions. The main complaints I had…aside from the occasional panic attack and trips to the emergency room because I was certain I was going to die…was daily headaches, muscle weakness, fuzzy and blurred vision, heart palpitations, chest pain, and stomach pain.
They sent me for CT scans, MRIs and they did blood work and monitored my heart….and it all came down to an anxiety disorder.
The strangest symptom was really the muscle weakness. When the anxiety got really bad, I couldn’t walk without shuffling. I had absolutely no strength in my hands or legs. This would last about an hour or two.
They tested me for MS, lyme disease, myasthenia gravis, strep…and the final diagnosis was anxiety.
The best part about these past few months is that my headaches are gone. I used to live on Advil Cold and Sinus and Excedrin. Then, my doctor puts me on a low dose of Prozac…and no more headaches. Added with an extremely low dose of Zyprexa for my remaining anxiety-related symptoms, I finally feel 100% better.
So, bring on the colds and sniffles – I can handle that. At least I won’t be making any late night trips to the emergency room for that. Those panic attacks are so scary!
Well, time to make some tea and get snuggled in for the night. The Bachelorette is on tonight, but I think I’ll be heading to bed right after that.
I won’t be taking my mid-term until next Monday, so I have a few more days to study.