Jenerally Speaking

Didn’t mean to leave everyone hanging like that.
I have been flooded with emails asking about my brother’s health….nah, just kidding – no one even reads this page.
But, in any case, he is fine – just a drop in blood pressure. All is well again.

Happy New Year all!

I came home from work today to find that my younger brother, Brian, passed out while entering his college class this morning.  He landed on his face and cracked a tooth and his cheek is all swollen and his lip is all cut up.  The hospital ran a bunch of tests on him and found nothing wrong, but as they were about to release him, he passed out again.  So, he is staying overnight for observation.

Not knowing what is wrong…I hate that.
A lot.

Knowing what is wrong and knowing that it’s something bad, well, I hate that, too.

I love my brother…he’s a really good guy and he is just getting his life started in the right direction.  He is 26 and on his own for the first time, he is finishing college to start a career that he seems to enjoy…I just don’t want to find out that he is sick.

Hugs to Brian.  XOXOXO  Hoping we’ll hear good news tomorrow.

This is Meghan’s third year in baseball and I was really really looking forward to the season starting. I love going to practices and watching her games – it’s a lot of fun. This year, however, she has moved up to the next level which is proving to be much more difficult than the earlier years she has played.
The rules are a little different this year, the quality of players is much higher than last year and Meg really wants to work as hard as she can to be as good at the boys on her team.
Unfortunately, yesterday, she was practicing sliding with her team and ended up injuring her back. I could be wrong but I think that the reason was that they were sliding on grass…not on the usual dirt field. Her foot stopped suddenly in the grass, but the rest of her body twisted and she pulled a muscle in her back.
She screamed out so loudly and at first we didn’t even know what had happened. Well, I put ice on it all last night, but the minute she put her backpack on this morning, her back hurt again.
I may be a wimp, but I am really worried about her playing this year. She is afraid to try sliding again and unfortunately, sliding is mandatory if you are running from third base to home.
I’d hate for her to miss this season, but I really don’t want her to injure herself even more.
She’s tough, though…and I think if she heals from this she should be able to play fine the rest of the season. Hopefully her team won’t play well enough and she will never have to slide into home base. lol
How parents with more than one child stay sane, I will never know. I worry and fret over the safety and happiness of one daughter, I don’t know how I could do that with more than one child.

Being a mom. Well there are some days when I feel as though I am growing from the experience. I feel as though motherhood helps mature me. Then other days….it’s more like I’m going through my second childhood. Meg has been playing on a web site called Neopets. You adopt up to four unique little pets and then you feed them, play games with them, battle with them…etc.
She asked me to give a try and now I find myself logging on once a day to take care of my little Neopets.
It’s fun to have an activity to share with my daughter, but I have to wonder if I am the only mom who finds herself participating in childhood activities (and liking it!)
Oh dear.
I think I need to take a few days to spend with my peers. It’s fun to spend quality time with my daughter and to get down on her level, but there are some days when I would really like to feel 28 again. Motherhood is such an interesting experience!

Well, my blog is an excellent example of how I live my life. I pursue something with such enthusiasm…to the point where I begin to neglect the basics of life. And then….I abandon it and the zest I felt for the once beloved activity quickly disappears. When I started this blog, I wrote every day…sometimes twice a day. Now…as my life begins to revolve around other activities, I find that I end up ignoring this activity altogether. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, I do not know. But, this is how I live my life and how I approach everything in my life. Extreme highs and lows. Enthusiasm then neglect. I can only assume that many people live their lives in such a manner. I am always looking for the middle road…the balance…the in-between, but I have yet to master the art of balancing the highs and lows.
As for today, I am back to write again to my journal. Today, however, I have sad news.
My grandmother who has lived with us for the past few years, passed away this morning.
My mother found her next to her bed on the floor. She had a heart condition, so it appears that her heart failed her as she was beginning her morning routine.
I do know that I will miss her, but I am glad for the time I had to spend with her. I am glad, too, for the fact that my daughter had a chance to live so close to her great-grandmother. Many children do not have the chance to interact with their great-grandparents, but Meg has lived with both and she is lucky to have known them.
We’ll miss you, Oma. Give Ota a kiss and a hug for us in heaven. XOXOXOXO

Well, I have been neglecting my blog, but I am glad I have some time tonight to post a little update.

The past 5 weeks have been rough going for us here. Currently we have two grandmothers in the hospital. One has pneumonia and the other had a heart attack and is currently in ICU. As far as the rest of the house goes, my brother has bronchitis, my mother has bronchitis, my daughter is getting over strep throat and my own throat is sore and I am recovering from a three-day high fever. I’ll say this much, however….I’d take on every cold, every stomach ache, every headache and illness in the world if it could keep all of those aches and pains from my daughter. There is nothing worse that being a parent and watching your child fight an illness.

In truth, I have been very lucky – Meghan, my daughter, is a very very healthy little girl. During the past eight years she has been sick maybe twice. Needless to say, it has been tough to handle the past month with her being constantly ill. Although it was slightly mysterious and had the doctors baffled for a few weeks, it appears that she is going to be fine and it was nothing terribly serious after all.
Basically, she has been fighting a high fever on and off for weeks. Muscle pain, sore throat, a terrible cough, extreme weakness and trembling. At first the doctor put her on Augmentin, but that did nothing, so he thought that perhaps she was fighting some type of virus. Basically, I was to keep her comfortable and wait for the virus to pass.
Finally, she seemed to get better and I sent her back to school. Two days later, she was home again with a fever. This time, however, they ran some more tests and her strep test came back positive. Much better to know what the illness is than to have the doctor tell you that he has no idea what is causing her symtoms.

She was put on antibiotics and seems to be better again. I am sending her back to school tomorrow, but I won’t be completely convinced of her recovery until the weekend comes without any trace of a high fever.
I think this past Saturday night was the worst. She woke up around 2AM and was trembling so violently that I was ready to bring her to the hospital. Her fever was creeping up to 103 and she couldn’t stop shaking.
A parent just doesn’t forget nights like that. The feeling of fear and pain for their child’s own fear and pain…Meg was especially clingy that night and she kept patting my face and telling me that she was so glad that I was there with her.
And she said the sweetest thing I ever heard her say…words only an eight-year-old can utter to her mother “Mom, I am so glad you are here. I hope you stay with me forever and I hope you live long and wide”
*grins* Long and wide.
My Meggie. Although she was uncomfortable from the fever and feeling entirely not like herself, she was still as sweet and loving as ever.

Parenting is a life-long investment…and heart-tugging job….a thrilling, yet sometimes terrifying place to be. I love being Meghan’s mom….my life is all about her. But, my goodness….I had no idea that parenting could be this emotional. I’m giving my mom a great big hug tomorrow. It’s been a while since I let her know how much I appreciate and love her for all she has done for me.

Well, off to bed I go…sweet dreams to all. May you all live long and wide.